It's a perfect reminder for this week. I'm gonna tick off another item off my Bucket List.
About a month ago, a blogger that I had recently connected with told me that I had a great life. She said those exact words! I was blown away. And today, just this morning, a sweet lady in a Facebook group told me 'your views on life are like a breath of fresh air' and 'I hope you never lose that because life can beat you down and it's easy to lose faith.' I was immediately left speechless. The previous comment from the first person came back to me at that moment. I knew then that it was important to share 'my story' or at least bits of it.
You see, life did beat me down and I did lose faith. My views on life were not always positive. And, at one point, actually several points in my life, I relied heavily on antidepressants to get me through the day. I don't speak about these things now because a part of my 'recovery' was to recognize and focus on the great things, the things that bring me joy and happiness. But, I don't believe I'll be any help to you if I do not share what 'my dark' consisted of.
I know what it feels like to hurt deeply and to be faced with uncertainly that is piled so high you can't see a way through. I know what it feels like to go without for long periods of time. I know what it feels like to know that Christmas is coming and you have no money to buy anything for anyone. I know what it feels like to be stuck between a rock and a hard place. I know what it feels like to stay up all night crying yourself to sleep. I know what it feels like to hurt.
When you tell me that I have a great life or that my views on life are a breath of fresh air, you are ultimately right. But know this, it is essentially from my own doing and my own thoughts that I have a great life and that my views are a breath of fresh air. Life didn't help me...in fact, life did everything in it's power to make sure that I didn't have a good life. Life doesn't give a crap about anyone. It was here before you and it will go on after you.
If you want to have a great life, you have to make it. Sitting back, hoping that life will change is a waste of time and will get you no where fast. It took me thirty years to figure that out.
Life can be a dark place, it certainly was for me, but, just like the sun, the light never disappears, it is just hiding. Here's how to find the light again...
Here's a little 'secret-ish' fact about myself...way before I got into blogging, I was crazy about online forums. At one point, I even created and managed my own forum. It was a huge success too! Forums pretty much introduced me to 'digital social networking' and I fell hard for it.
I managed my own forum for a little over a year and as much as I loved it, there was still that missing puzzle piece. I found said piece in blogging a few years later and suddenly, all was right in my world. Even though I now have this little place that I adore, forums will always have a place in my heart.
Over the years, I parted ways with many of the forums that I once visited daily and shut the door on my own forum in favour of blogging. I decided to keep my membership in only two forums. You can say that they were my favourites. To this day, I still go on ever so often to participate in the threads and to pick up some cute tags.
Creative Misfits (I love that name), is a PSP addict's wonderland. I joined about six years ago when I was trying to get into Photoshop. I realized shortly after, that I was useless at Photoshop and gave up on it. However, the nice folks at Creative Misfits decided to keep me and so I stayed. From time to time, they make me cute graphics. For free! And when it's my birthday, I get tons. Now, how awesome is that?!?
Anyway, even though I am not entirely sure what to do with all these graphics, I can't delete them because they are so cute. See for yourself...